Theorist

They laughed when he tried to tell them. Every single one of them. Every single time.

He felt a slight sense of guilt but this was offset by the fact that he knew he had done everything he could.

It was going to be hard to convince them, this much he had known from the start. After he figured out the code and had cracked the message, he knew he had to try. Whether they chose to believe him was up to them. They had chosen not to.

So why feel this guilt?

Looking back on it all, maybe he could have been a little more composed and presented the information in a more organized fashion. Less frantic. Less manic.

A shower and a haircut and a fresh set of clothes would probably have helped his case too.

Looking back on it, this much made sense now. So maybe there was a reason for this guilt?

Bringing the huge 4 foot by 4 foot piece of paper with all of the dots connected with bits of colored yard and newspaper clippings with highlighted text that showed the pattern of the code was probably a bad idea.

After all, he knew how to create a powerpoint presentation. So why hadn’t he done that?

Sitting in his bunker 10 feet below ground, listening to the explosions above and feeling the ground shake and knowing that it would take at least 20 years for the radiation to subside, he felt a sense of loss for everything and everybody.

He was not laughing and he did not feel a sense of pride or a desire to boast. Who would he boast to? What did he have to be proud about? Why would he laugh?

He had tried to tell them. All of them. And they had laughed. That was their choice.

So why this sense of guilt?

Exchange

“So we have a deal?”

“Not yet.”

“What’s the problem?”

“I’m not quite satisfied yet, feels a little one-sided.”

“Ok.”

“I need to get a little more from you, is all.”

“I’m listening.”

“No. You’re talking. This is the time for you to talk and tell me what else you’re willing to offer.”

“What’s on the table is more than fair, though. Its one-to-one right now.”

“In terms of quantity, yes. Not quality.”

“My supply is top-notch.”

“Listen, I’m offering two hearts. Two kidneys is not an equal value.”

“I can go to three.”

“I don’t need three.”

“Listen, we need to figure this out. The ice is melting and my stock is getting warm.”

Wriggle

It was dark and confined and time was becoming more than a pressing issue.

There was very little room to move, inches on all sides, though it might be possible.

The box was old wood and weathered but he shook and shimmied the weak spots were exposed.

There were two questions, really. Was there enough time to break down a weak spot in the box by shaking? And even if a side did come loose, would he be able to climb through the six feet of dirt above him or would it all come crushing down and suffocate him?

Weakness

He put another piece in his mouth. He just let it sit there. He knew some people bit into the little piece of hard candy immediately and he did not understand this.

What was the point of this practice of instant gratification? It was the impatience that he found disprespectful. It was much better to just let the little piece of hard candy sit in your mouth and let it slowly dissolve while the flavors crept over different parts of your tongue.

He was an expert at this. He would block everything else out and just concentrate on the slowly dissolving little piece of hard candy and the plethora of intricate flavors caressing the inside of his mouth.

This could take anywhere from 30 minutes to a few hours. He would only swallow once his mouth was completely full. He would swallow slowly and let the sugary candy juices trickle down his throat. He knew how to savor this. He knew that this was the only way to respect the little piece of hard candy.

Each one was slightly different. Even if they were from the same package and were supposedly the same flavor. He knew that not every little piece of hard candy strawberry tasted the same.

He would feel the tiny crevices and slight bumps on each little piece of hard candy. He was careful not to feel the little piece of hard candy too much or too often because this would speed up the process. The little piece of hard candy should dissolve on its own. Each little crevice and bump and the nuances they contained drastically contributed to and changed the flavor of each little hard piece of candy. This is what made each little piece of hard candy taste different than the last little piece of hard candy even if they were supposed to be the same flavor from the same package.

When the little piece of hard candy that was in his mouth had dissolved completely and he had swallowed all of the sugary candy juices it was important to be patient.

He had a post-piece of candy process that he had perfected and he knew that it was the only way to ensure that he was able to extract all of the flavor from each little piece of hard candy each time.

He would sit in silence and focus on the lingering flavors in his mouth. His mouth would fill with non-candy-flavored saliva and he would take note of how much lingering flavor was still present in his mouth and his saliva each time he swallowed after the little piece of hard candy had completely dissolved.

The next step came after he was satisfied that he was unable to taste any lingering flavor from the sugary candy juices that had only moments ago tinderly caressed the inside of his mouth.

He would reach over and take the suction device he had purchased from a used dental office supply company. He would spend at least twenty minutes with this little suction device and make sure that it carefully and precisely sucked up every last little drop of liquid from every last little corner of his mouth. This liquid could be overlooked if he didn’t use the suction device and he knew that it could still contain the sugary candy juices and their flavors from the last little piece of hard candy that had just dissolved in his mouth.

He would then rinse his mouth with the water pick tool he had also bought from the used dental supply comapny and spit into the little metal sink basin that he had also purchased from the used dental supply company. All of these devices and tools sat neatly by his plush chair that he had also purchased from a dental supply company but not the same dental supply company where he had purchased the suction device and the water pick tool.

After he had completed all of these steps it was time to repeat the process with the next little piece of hard candy that would sit in his mouth and that he would gently stroke with his tongue to discover all of the crevices and bumps and would be careful not to stroke it too long so that it did not disrupt the natural process and then he would let the little piece of hard candy fill his mouth with sugary candy juices and each section of his tongue would pay careful attention to the flavors that were released and he would sit and block everything else out and he would pay close attention to what was going on in his mouth and he would swallow slow and tiny and savor all of the liquid that was filling his mouth with such diverse flavors from sugary candy juices.