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His name was The Grand Supreme Leader Of Everything That Is, Was, Or Will Be.

He promised us inner peace, knowledge of things heavenly and worldly, a profound sense of purpose.

We could have all of this, The Grand Supreme Leader Of Everything That Is, Was, Or Will Be said, if we just trusted him completely.

That trust, he said, could be earned easily, quickly, and with a few strokes of a pen.

Just sign on the dotted line. Don’t read the document, just sign.

And so we did.

After two weeks of intense seminars, meditation, fasting, we signed.

And now we are the proud owners of a pristine beach-front property.

In Kansas.