Pursuit

There are people who want to kill me. It is a known fact. At least, I am told it is a known fact.

It is what my security people tell me. At least, I think they are my security people. They could be people I have paid to impersonate my security people. This is for the safety of my actual security people and myself.

It is because of this constant threat from the people who want to kill me that we have to take these types of precautions. It is supposed to make my life easier.

Every morning at 8:00 am a black sedan pulls up to one of my houses to pick me up. It is not actually me they are picking up. It is instead somebody who looks a lot like me and has been trained to pretend to be me.

I never know which house the black car will pull up to on which day. It might be the me that is at the house with my family, though they are not actually my family. Instead, they are people who look like my family and who we pay to pretend to be my family.

It might be the house that my pretend parents live in. It could be the house one of the me’s pretends to vacation in.

I do not know how many houses I own or how many me’s there are.

There could be more than one black car on a given day picking up on of the many me’s at one of the many houses. I do not know this for sure.

I do know that some of the black cars on the road did not stop at a house and do not have a passenger. I know that this happens sometimes but not all of the time.

After the black cars leave one of the many houses, they will drive one of many routes. This all depends on the scenario they are running that day.

At some point during their drive, one or more white vans will start to follow them. The vans are white because I am told these are the types of vans the people who are trying to kill me typically drive.

We do not know who is in the vans or how many of them there are. We outsource this. I am told this is to protect the integrity of the scenario.

So on any given day there could be any given number of black cars that may or may not have a pretend me as a passenger. And any number of white vans with any number of passengers pretending to be people who want to kill me in pursuit.

There are three things I know to be real: the black cars, the white vans, and the guns and ammunition.

The situations vary depending on the day and the scenario being run on that given day.

All or none of the black cars may be run off the road and all or none of the white vans may win the pursuit, for instance.

Or if, say, 3 of the black cars are run off the road or forced in to an accident, 1 out of those 3 black cars may experience a fatality. The white vans may open fire and kill one of the pretend me’s.

I am told their are trillions of possible permutations in these scenarios, based on the number of black cars that are either carrying a pretend me or are empty and the number of white vans in pursuit and the number of fatalities that may or may not occur.

Every day I sit and wait in my secure bunker for the scenario report. It is a secure location so there are no windows or telephones or televisions or radios or electronics of any kind.

Every day I sit and wait for the report.

Every day somebody who may or may not be my chief security offices comes in and delivers what may or may not be the actual report of the scenario that we may or may not have run that day.

So far, we have run 2,137 scenarios with 2,137 different outcomes.

So far, I am told, there is no way to be sure that I am in fact safe from the people who want to kill me.